Bench mark

The thing with being on bench (term used to describe officials not assigned to any project, hence not working) is what it does to one's self esteem. It’s like a leaky bucket, the more you are in it, the less self esteem you would be left with. You would even question yourself "why would I need to press my clothes, polish my shoes and be on time, when all I do is nothing". As much as I am hopeful and positive about my situation, living through bench is quite challenging. Its like the relationship phase that makes you wonder whether its going to break up or patch up. I am not sure what's expected out of me and to be honest I rather be jobless than paid for doing nothing.

If you need a free mud face pack, all you need to do is drive without helmet in one of Chennai roads. Of all the transportation problems we face, the worst one is dust. Not only it creates eye irritation and dirty clothes, it also creates breathing issues and numerous allergy related diseases. The next one is honking. You would be honked even if you are driving perfectly fine. It means the driver is in hurry (for what is a million dollar question) and may run over you if you don’t give way. Others honk for different reason, either because they like their horn or it has become their habit to do so.

In the place I live, the ground water is polluted by nearby factory of Ponds. The effect is so much that our water heater broke due to the saline quality of it. The lake near my house has become a garbage dumping ground. I can even spot buffaloes, pigs and scavengers wandering around. The stray dogs are most troublesome though, for they chase me while I drive in the night, when the area has become their "territory". This is why I don’t suggest foreigners to visit India, for I am not convinced by its tourism. We surely have great monumental temples and sites (I am sure every country has their own stuff to show case) but we are not ready for visitors yet. What 5 star hotel tourists see is not the real India. For we live amongst slums, chased by stray dogs, honked to deaf, covered by mud pack and drink polluted water.

It’s almost a month since I landed in Chennai, but I felt nostalgic only recently. When I visited the place where we used to live (before I went to Singapore), the neighbors, store owner and even the milk maid was so happy to see me. These people really know me, to the point they can even say what I am allergic to. One ex-neighbor offered me lunch and I couldn’t say no. For the records we don’t owe each other money or anything. In India people ask you "saptacha" (have you had meals?), for we believe in feeding, even the stranger who turns up during the meal time. These are people of India and I am proud of them. Anyone who is been invited with a smile and offered a meal would feel so.

Image courtsy Google

I would like to accept all these things as part of my life. It’s definitely not perfect, and given the choice I would change 100 things about it. But there are 1000 things to be grateful too. For I still have job and friends who can offer a free meal, a vehicle and helmet to drive through mud and mind that’s capable of handling such challenges. I need to deal with "Now", and that’s what I should use to create a better tomorrow.

"Accept, what you resist persists"
Srivats