Tuesday, August 09, 2011

In a heart beat

Happy birthday Singapore, thanks for enriching my life in many ways.


Sunday, August 07, 2011

Miles beneath the smile

2 am saturday night
sitting awake with laptop on
I have thoughts to fight and gauge whats right
So I keep thinking on and on tonight.

Projects to be done
and books to be read
but I gaze on
cause there are things to be said.

cheerful as gay
and a smile ear to ear
thats what people say
but they dont see it clear.

My heart is full
but my valet is light
for love is all i can give at will
till my time is right.

I keep forgetting its the material world
I still keep believing that love could mend
and all we need is some time to spend.

I walk with dreams
and sleep with nightmares
I chase them all day like a dog
and they croak all night like a frog.

With millions friends to help
and million hearts to cheer
I keep hoping things would be better

Its not easy when u give it all up
for what u love
may not fill today's cup

I am tired and may lose
to those black thoughts on the loose

for words killed my smiles today
and laughing so loud,
but behold you demon
here comes another day.

Thursday, August 04, 2011

Funny faces and come soon

"Chichu mama, eppo enna pannum" ( uncle whats now ?)
"nee school ponum " ( you must go to school)
"Appo evening collage okya" (can we do collage in the evening ?)
"ok for sure"
"Ok chichu mama, bye poren" , and after the exchange of ample amount of flying kiss.
" come soon ok ? "

It doesn't matter whether he is leaving for school or I am going out, its always come soon for him.

"chichu mama down poi tata pannanum"  (say bye when I go down).

We live in 10th floor and his day care is nearby. The view to the long road is quite clear from lobby and vice verse. So  for the next few minutes we keep waving to each other making funny faces.

The bittersweet feeling of watching him go is hard to explain. Back home, Everytime I leave my home, my parents would make it a point to send me off  from the gate. They would wait patiently until I walk the whole street. The good bye is never complete without a waving from the end of the street. Sometimes my dad would walk in , but my mom would stay there pretending as casual as she can get, by talking to neighbor. 

Sometimes I take a cab but the routine is same. For It doesn't matter whether she could see me or not. If she has an option to see me till rail station or airport, I bet she would. This is by far the guiltiest feeling I ever get. Even though I know I have all the more reasons to travel, to provide for them and hopefully soon enough we would be together. Watching her face as I bid goodbye is the most human emotion i possess. For it tells me I am part of her, for it tell me no matter where this body goes the umbilical cord is still intact.

Once, a wise person I know told me a tamil poem about the hunter. The hunter goes into the wild leaving his loved one (the poem says lover but lets suit our selves) for the catch of the day. As you may know, finding a prey and shooting it down is not like bowling in the east coast park.  But he does get it right, always!  not just because of his abilities, but because of the love. The one that waits by the door wants him to come home soon and that loving thought is enough to make him succeed. I was flabbergasted the first time I heard this poem! Beautiful! 

I think of this every time I wonder about the future. While I stand in the end of the cross roads, I see her face for I know her love is good enough to make me succeed. 
Come soon Amma