Friday, May 29, 2009

Shifting thoughts

Its shifting time again.Its been one and half years in Singapore and I am shifting for the 3rd time to 4th house this Saturday.Unlike other times this one is voluntary. I am moving in with couple of my work mates for companionship.They are my good friends and had to move from their current place. They were searching for a room ,and it occurred to us that we all can take a flat together and stay.Its convenient as we have so much in common, fun and cheap( middle class mentality strikes again) .Also, we can have all the freedom of walk-around-in-shorts without shame and booze till you snooze fun (oh boys will be boys).I also thought I could use (read desperately) some change.

I believe change of place is change of life. Crazy as it may sound I almost feel like born again when I shift. Its odd feeling shaking good byes to then flat mates, and when you take a long look at the empty room to make sure everything is packed.You even feel you might have left something behind. Thats always the case, even if its for a short while, you do leave behind a part you/your life in order to move on.And I too invariably leave more than a pile of my stuff in the old house trash chute.I leave my past.I erase my history of mistakes, regrets and "oh shit" moments. I leave most and carry only the happy handshakes.

Singapore is my first - live away - from family life, and I learnt a mountain load.As much as I welcomed the change, finding accommodation in the new country isn't interesting after all. I have had lived with greedy-cum-picky house owners, 'Lets-fight-to-make-this-day-interesting' flat mates. Sometimes I took stand (that was poruthathu podhum pongi ezhu moment) when I felt I couldn't take anymore shit. Sometimes practiced Dalai lama -patience and sometimes I laughed it off. Like when my funny X flat mate competed for silly things. Although we had proper schedule for everything he managed to pick perfect timing with me.Like using cooking area or washing machine first or occupying more place for drying his clothes.He had flexible time for work and mastered the art of waiting and occupying bathroom right at the moment, specially so when I am running late.

I was amused to know such people actually found pleasure in irritating others. However I am grateful for all those things.Its because of them I had chance of putting into practice all the Robin Sharma - be a leader while tough times - wisdom. Its because of them I understood Neal's philosophy.

According to author Neal, if you were suspended in a white space, where nothing really exists except you.Then your mind don't have anything to process, anything to work on and it will gradually but surely go crazy. Your mind would no longer exists and you go, what people call "out of mind" state. Imagine if someone places a cat then. Your mind comes back because it got something to work on. Now its not just you there is something else, something different than you. The cat is small and soft and you are strong and tall, Its only by comparison you understand yourself.Similarly its because of them I understood and evolved into better self.

As I kept changing, I had better flat mates and owners.My last flat mate is gem of a person.One thing is for sure, bad events don't repeat if we learnt the lessons they send our way. Then, we grow into better self and our surroundings ward off like a old robe from us.

So I am looking forward for this change,
New place, new window,new views and New ME :P

p.s: On a total different note, below songs are my latest music crush by Alexander Rybak (winner of Eurovision).Take a moment and listen to these mesmerizing original compositions by this talented teen.
Fairytale
Funny little world

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Tagged to books

My friend Preethe Tagged me few days back on post about the books I read and I am happy to write about it.
Remember the crazy squirrel from Ice age movie ?
The one whose heaven is full of nuts (and I mean the actual nuts).
Likewise I want my heaven to be full of books, and of course wine , guitar music and sexy cupids (ahem..).I feel my life isn't enough for me to read even 10% of all those books that I want to read. However I still read a book or two amongst my daily chores.

One book that changed my life:
Not one, but most books I read change my life in innumerable ways for sure. The top ones are:
The Alchemist - Paulo Coelho
Who will cry when you die - Robin Sharma
The 5 people you meet in heaven - Mitch Albom

The book you have read more than once:
Many actually - the one tops my list is
Greatness Guide - Robin Sharma
I want to read " Engey brahmnan by Cho" again , however a ex-friend borrowed it from me and gave it to someone else :( I can even forgive someone for taking my money, but not my books >:( That's why he is ex-friend now.

One book you would want on dessert island:
Two kinds actually
Mitch Albom, Paulo Coelho and Neal Donald Walsh books which are deep in meaning
Shedny Sheldon, Michel critton,Dan brown books which are page turners.

One book that made you laugh:
All P.G Wodehouse - Right oh Jeeves series

One book that made me cry:
Oh many , I am crier. Any sentiment scene in movie or in book, I got to have tissues :)

A painted house - John Grisham ,
This book made me remember my Grandma and good old days with her. She loved me so much, that one of the last words she spoke was my name. She was my mom's mom. We visit her place for few days during holidays. She would prepare cakes, cookies and tastiest fruit salad ice cream for me. In those days these were very special food and preparing them at home without oven was no joke. And when I leave, she would silently slip in 20 rupees in my pocket whispering that I should buy whatever I feel like. I never understood her love for me, until I lost her :(

Friendship with God - Neale Donald Walsh
Felt like God actually talking to me,got Goosebumps and cried several times while reading.

For one day more - Mitch Albom
The thought of missing my mom for rest of my life, can make me cry anytime.

Before I die - Jenny downham.
Its true, when you about to die you would know the value of living.
I got inspired so much by this book and wrote this post.

One book you wish you had written:
Power of subconscious mind - Joseph Murphy
The author has written countless amazing information about our mind and yet made it easy to read. I am no professor on psychology but If I were to write that book , I would have learnt so much about mind.

One book that you wish had never been written:
Actually three - Bible, Gita and Quran , Don't get me wrong, I am no atheist. Infact I love God so much to see people fighting on the name of her ( why God always has to be "he" by the way?).People got so stuck to the holy books and abandoned the realization of God in inner self.

One book you are currently reading:
Unknown Life of Jesus Christ - Nicolas
It claims to contain ancient scrolls that Jesus spent seventeen years in India and Tibet.

One book you have been meaning to read:
The Fountain head
Every time I start this book something happens and I never actually start it :(

I would like to tag
Gils
And all book lovers :)

Friday, May 22, 2009

And so I give up

I just realised! Like a bulb above my head

I give up, cant do this anymore,
I cant waste one more hour on this
especially for all the below reasons
For friends who kept calling

For friends who took all the yelling

For blogger friends like Preethe who write mails to encourage.



And for my good friend Vimal who listened to all the complaining
Who said not a word as advice or suggestion the whole evening
But gave me *hug* when I left his place.

And so I give up - I cant afford to be down anymore
p.s: Actually I realised its friday evening ;)

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

The curious case of somebody

What would happen if you tell Calvin that Hobbes is just a stuffed toy ?
Just imagine how shocking it can be to him.
You think you know a person for many years and you realize you don't know him that well. The mental(!?) picture of him doesn't even remotely in anyway resembles him.

I would like to call him somebody,
As of now he feels somebody to me
These are the things I found out about him in past few months

Somebody poses picture of Mr. independent
But don't even know how to properly iron his own clothes

Somebody wishes he could stay around 29 and never get to be 30
So he don't have to answer, "are you still single ?" - pseudo sympathetic questions

Somebody wishes his dad could be rich to let him do higher studies, So he don't have to worry for loan to be repaid, family to take care of.

Somebody who works in a job which is no where closer to any profile he did all these years,But took the job because it is in abroad which would make his parents and himself(!?) proud
And realised all he needs is yogurt mixed rice from mom's hand

Somebody cannot quit this job or transfer to home town
Because that will be like quitting according to him
Because he needs the comfortness of abroad lifestyle
And the money to pay n number of things he provided for his family and self

Somebody misses his family terribly
but cant visit them since his job has got only 12 days leave per year.

Somebody reads many motivational books
Do meditations and preaches motivational stuff
Even cheers his friends and offer suggestion on their problems
But remain helpless and distressed at his own situations
And constantly shuttles between low and high mood swings

Somebody who like to believe in his dreams of working in creative industry someday,But don't know when and how he would start the career change

Somebody who write and reads about love all the time
So much that people would preceive he is having a great love life

Somebody who even after maintaining perfect weight for many years, still diets to death to gain flat abs and slim figure.He might constantly worry about getting older too.

Somebody pretends to be happy and bubbly over the phone
So his family and friends would never find out how miserable he is.

Somebody who cracks jokes, go out with friends
Only to return to a room full of things which gives comfort but not company

Somebody who just realized the truth in Om shanti Om dialogue
"The person who smiles a lot, does same amount of crying too"

p.s:
Somebody writes a post and visits every now and then to check how many visited since then. He feels bad if no one writes a comment , worrying whether his writing is not good enough. However pacifies himself that he is writing to express himself and comments dont matter

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

I am air


I am made according to HIS perfection
I like to be light
I love to be everywhere
I demand to be free
I hate to be pressured
Sometimes I hug the lovely stream
Bubbling up with energy and gleam
Sometimes I make friends with dust and fire
Destroying everything with my attire

I fall in love with humans as I go
I embrace their chest and touch lovely hearts
Plants and trees love me for sure
Their care makes me divine and pure
I need energy to flow in less liked areas
I create energy when I flow across my favourite fields

At times I carry lovely fragrance
At times I carry poison too
I change according to the situation
People fathom about my character
Not knowing I am just the reactor

At times I am calm
I flow gently, cooling everyone
At times I am violent
Blowing everything, leaving no one
Sooner or later I return to my self
I am representation of God
My presence is less noted
However my absence never desired

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Sunrays, curtains and bedsheets

Today I woke up with a big smile
It’s Sunday so I slept a while
Another day to live before the 5 day routine
I squint my eye at the clock, its eleven fifteen
I saw dots flying everywhere,
It felt different, it was good different
I squint again,
Aah! Cells at the back of retina,my mind concluded
And they disappeared, like dancers of show that ended

I look to the window by my bed
Late morning sunlight through white curtain
Have filled the room with lovely flow
I turned off the air-condition, to feel the warmth of the glow

No mood to get off the bed
I look at the ceiling decor
It’s Peaceful, except for the feeble sound of TV next door.
A nice music, may be MTV
I know this song, Jason Mraz - I am yours

I could hear it better now,
Little tuning of mind is all it takes,
I stare at the sunlight again
I could see teeny tiny dust particles
Flying up and down,
Moving here and there
Coming alive in the beam of light

I yawn as I sit up
My friend was sitting in the table nearby,
Waiting for me in standby
With a touch on him, I can reach the world
Not willing I turned around

There you were, in my bed
Curled up in the sheets,
Lying on your stomach,
Mouth wide open
Sleeping like a baby
You are still my beauty

By your side I lie
Feeling like a kite that fly
Late night talks and hot Latte
Tastes under my tongue afresh
Meaningless fights and makeup kisses
Gives me a blush
Giggles, laughter and childlike pranks
You are more than my crush

I kiss you and wish you good morning
Closing your mouth with bed sheet, you smile
Where were you all the while?
I ask, grabbing you for another kiss
Pulling away in fragile attempt, you fail
With pillow you defend
I turn away in anger less anger
You wink at me starting another game
And the world will never be same

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Living till you die

How much more money you need, to call yourself rich ?

How many clothes you need, to feel like celebrity?

How much young you need to be, to feel youthful?

What you need to have, to feel Blessed ?

What official position would mark you Successful?

What moment can bring you that happiness and satisfaction ?

Which day all the "good things" can be started/completed ?

Which time is the quality time to spend with loved ones?

Who can be your "perfect" partner?

Why vacation has to be in Summer?

Why your hobbies and passion needs to wait till retirement?
...
..
.
How many sunsets you need to see to feel alive ?

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

An Oasis amongst the chores

You read books, admire them and move on to the next one. But sometimes as you dust your shelves you happen to see that favourite book. Like an old friend, suddenly recognisable amongst the crowd. You would probably go like "oh that was a lovely book" and without a hesitation you'd flip through the pages. You might even forget you are covered in dust and sweat. The messy room no more bothers you for you have already started talking to the friend.

You may even sit down and ponder for a while. Then you realise you lost track of time and you have to attend to other appointments. Letting out a long breath, you say bye to the old friend. Half heartedly close the book and get back to the chores.

Thats exactly what happened to me last week. This is beautiful fable from my old friend “Like the flowing river” by Paulo Coelho. Like wine, old books do tastes good ;) here it’s for you.

A young cloud was born in the middle of a great storm in the Mediterranean Sea. But it hardly had time to grow there; a strong wind pushed all the clouds towards Africa. As soon as they arrived on the continent, the climate changed: a warm sun shone in the sky, and down below the golden sand of the Sahara desert spread into the distance. The wind continued to push them towards the forests in the south, since it hardly ever rains in the desert. However, just as it is with young people, so with young clouds: this one decided to break away from its parents and older friends, to see the world.

" What are you doing?" – complained the wind. The entire desert is exactly the same! Come back to the group, and let’s go to the center of Africa, where there are beautiful mountains and trees! But the young cloud, a rebel by nature, did not obey; little by little, it lowered its altitude, until it was able to float on a gentle, generous breeze down near the golden sands. After wandering all over the place, it noticed that one of the dunes was smiling at it. It was because the dune was also young, recently formed by the wind which had just passed.
Straight away, the cloud fell in love with its golden hair. " Good morning" said the cloud. " What is it like living down there?" -"I have the company of the other dunes, the sun, the wind, and the caravans which pass by from time to time. Sometimes it is very hot, but it is bearable. And what is living up there like?" — "There is also the wind and the sun, but the advantage is, I can wander across the sky and get to know everything." — "For me life is short" said the dune. "When the wind returns from the forests, I will disappear." —" And does that make you sad? "— "It gives me the impression that I am of no use to anyone." — "I feel the same way. As soon as another wind comes, I will go south and become rain; however, that’s my destiny."

The dune hesitated for a moment, before saying: "Did you know that, down here in the desert, we call the rain Paradise?". "I didn’t know I could become something so important" – said the proud cloud. -" I’ve heard several legends told by old dunes. They say that, after the rain, we are covered in herbs and flowers. But I’d never know what that is like, for in the desert it only rains very rarely". This time it was the cloud which hesitated. But then it started to smile joyfully: " If you like, I can cover you with rain. Although I’ve only just arrived, I am in love with you, and would like to stay here forever."
"When I first saw you up in the sky, I too fell in love " said the dune." but if you turn your lovely white hair into rain, you will die. "Love never dies" said the cloud. "It transforms; and I want to show you Paradise". And so it began to caress the dune with droplets; they remained together like this for a long time, until a rainbow appeared.
The next day, the small dune was covered in flowers. Other clouds passing towards central Africa, thought that must be part of the forest they were searching for, and poured down more rain. Twenty years later, the dune had become an oasis, which refreshed travelers under the shade of its trees. And all because, one day, a loving cloud hadn’t been afraid to give up its life in the name of love.

Monday, May 04, 2009

Need a helping hand

"The direction in which education starts a man will determine his future life. - Plato"

Its more than a quote for me.
I am living a good life here in abroad.
I can support all the needs of my family.
Life is amazing now a days, I travel , I eat good food (and sometimes my own cooking).
I have comfortable shelter.
I listen to wonderful music (thanks to Ipod), can afford good books and connect with my friends and family using Internet.

May be its very normal to many, a usual thing like sunsets that happens everyday.
Sunsets are miracle too , duh.. imagine what would happen if sun didn't set for a day :P

Given our financial background, I never would have bothered to imagine a lifestyle like this.
Is it result of all the studies, the hard work, and the intelligence(!?)
May be partly, but huge portion of it is my blessings.

The blessings given by good souls who helped me to pay my fees.
Who did not worry whether I am going to pay them back or not (and I did pay them back).
They know, they are not giving me food but helping me to do harvest for lifetime.
They also know, they are helping not only a single student but a family.
One thing probably they don't know is,they have started a small cycle of good karma.

I was earning MY salary, doing MY shopping and living MY life.
Right then couple of my friends inspired me.
They helped me to see that I can make a difference.
These days time has given me the privilege to pass around the blessings.

Sangeetha is an IT employee plus house wife just like us.
She runs a free school near tambaram funded by her family members and few close friends.
Now more than 30 happy kids are shaping their future.
(Update: actually 150 students are enrolled in the school, pardon my ignorance. You can contact the school in the following information
Phone: 0091-44-22470875Mobile: 9840842800
Email :
saisankalptrust@yahoo.com Web : www.saisankalp.org )

Suseela is an elderly social worker.
She is the bridge between deserved community and people like us for many years now.
She belongs to no big charitable organization, runs no advertisements or publish her works for any gains.
She simply pass on the blessings of hers' and of people around.
Its through her I had the wonderful opportunity to "financially adopt" a kid few years back.

Due to recession , less donors are willing and she couldn't get enough help to these students.
Below are the details of(copied from her mail to me) two such students.

Student name = R.Jawahar
Class = Std III
School = Ramaniyam Shankara Nursery & Primary school Palavakkam,
Fee to be paid = Rs.2275/-
Father name = Ravi
Father's occupation = Factory worker
Contact adds = 3/864, Maniyammai Street, Canalpuram, Palavakkam,Chennai 41
Contact ph.no = 99401 87504

Last date to pay the fee is 11th May, 2009
Apart from this fee, this student has to pay Rs.175/- monthly, which the parents will be paying
----

Student name = Martin
Class = Std XII
School = Marians Matriculation Hr.Sec school, St.Thomas Mount, Chennai
Fee to be paid = Rs.7950/-
Father = Expired
Mother's name = Mary
Job & Income = Cook/Maid in houses Rs.2000/-
Contact adds = Seven wells street,St.Thomas Mount,, Chennai 16
Contact ph.no = 9382747623

Last date to pay the fee is 10th May, 2009
----
Be it a dollar or two, it would always make a difference to them.
Please let me know if you are interested to contribute @ nasrivatsan@gmail.com