Tuesday, April 28, 2009

I will be right here for you

When sunset left you darkness
Stumbling you to emptiness
When nothing can bring you light
I will be holding candle for you

When the thunder is deafening
And your calling is unheard
When you can’t even talk to yourself
I will be listening to you

When the clouds above pouring down
Blinding your sight around
When you find everything drenched
I will be lending tissues to you

When your grounds are shaky
And your shoes keep slipping
When nothing stops you from falling
I will be catching you in my arms

When the closure is proposed
All the doors you knock are closed
When you feel tired and lost
I will be carrying you home
I will be standing on the cliff with open arms
Where the clouds come to rest
I have saved a seat in the wooden bench
Where the streams flows on white sands
I will be waiting for very long
If you decide to come along

If you decide to come along
This is my promise, on and on
Our life will be brand new,
When I am here for you

Friday, April 24, 2009

Your call

Have your ever felt the power of Music in you?
Things which you cant even express in words?!

Switch off the lights,
Lock the door,
The world can wait, it’s your time!
Play your favourite music and lie down
Then you would know what I am talking about

Music is who 'I AM'
Sometimes it brings feelings which I don’t even know existed
Sometimes it makes me cry in happiness
Sometimes it takes me to myself

Music is TRAVELLING
I am in new land, I call it heaven
I may fill it with flowers, clouds or music symbols
I may then travel to special memories

Music is NOW
No more problems of today
No more worries of tomorrow
No more space or time

Music is LOVELY
Its ecstasy of first love, atoms in action
Its as colorful as sunsets and rainbows
Its as deep and filling as oceans

MUSIC
Haunts me
Like recurring dream
Like a morning beam
Like a smiling baby
Like a blushing lover
Like a tail waving dog (dog potachu)
Like a morning fog (edhugai monai vandhucha, vatsa chance ellai)
Every breath I take, with
Every string that play
It’s wonderful!

I AM TRAVELLING NOW IN LOVELY MUSIC :)
My soul is completely drenched in this song.
Just the guitar and John Vesey’s voice lovely!
I can write at least 10 posts about the lyrics. (dont worry ezhudha matten ;P)
It sends current down my nerves. Take a moment enjoy this :)

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Mr.Bob

I am sorry for him. Let’s call him Mr.Bob like sponge bob square pants. The difference is, neither he made me smile, nor he is creative enough like that cartoon character. If I say I wont weigh (ok cheesy word for judging) people in the first meet, it's like saying girls don't like chocolates. However, I take my time to re-asses and often give them chance to change my opinion.

The employee welfare forum in office has organised a dinner in city Art Museum (cool location! you got to visit if you come to Singapore). There was a game before dinner (whow!!...corporate party games excite me like marijuana and I was as happy as dog sitting by the open window in the car). We were given a set of colour stickers for each department. All we have to do is mingle with people, and exchange different colour stickers. You are supposed to collect at least 6 different colours. The point is you got to ACTUALLY REMEMBER the details of each person you talk. You should be able to repeat them on stage if you were called. The winners will be awarded with (fancy) office bag.

I was jumping with joy (duh.. inside), again like dog waiting for the log to be thrown. (By now you would know I love dogs). For one thing I can easily do (just like gobbling down Indian sweet - adhaanga alwa sapdra maari ) is talking/connecting with people.

They served early dinner and drinks. Free food, drinks, good location and people to talk to, wow it is my heaven. I met few guys from IT, Finance, and VPs too.Then I met two charismatic girls (adaada neram nalla erukku pola) from Swiss who are new to Singapore. “Guten tag” (hi in German) and few other broken German words I know, helped a lot to connect with them. From TV shows to Global warming we talked several things and laughed a load. Thanks to wine it has loosened our tongues. We totally forgot about stickers (Naikkum adi sarukkum)

Just when I was about to conclude it as perfect evening, Mr.bob joined us. Or should I say he interrupted and started talking like a sales person selling stickers. So the girls fumbled with their plate, whine glass and purse to search for the sticker. ( naanum mumtaz rangela , ayioo paavamnu feel pannittu avanga plate pudichukitten)

Mr Bob, Indian in his 30, little bald had grown load of muscles in abdomen area. No offence I am not against huggable (see I did not use 3 letter F word) people but I would expect people to be health conscious. I don’t appreciate those who sit around and grow their tummies like it’s their wealth. Mr.Bob turned and smiled at me, I wanted to do him a favour. I gave him my details while picking up my sticker. Seeing my colour of sticker he said “Oh blue, you are in IT. I have that already and I want a different sticker “and walked away without waiting for my answer. I was like “what the heck?!@#@” . I wanted to take his head punch it flat and stick it in the pad like that sticker.

What is the point of the whole thing? Collect stickers or make contacts? (Suddenly enlightened!)

Girls did not seem to mind what just happened. Probably they would have seen such freaks before. We continued chatting and few more people joined us. Now we are about 7 people talking and laughing. I noticed now and then Mr.Bob walking around like a crime smelling patrol dog (engeyum dog potachu) collecting stickers. Dinner does end and they started doing the Game. We had so much fun so we decided to bunk the game and go for walk in the Orchard Shopping road nearby.

As we walked out I saw Mr.Bob anxiously waiting to be called on stage.

p.s: I did get that office bag on another occasion for winning a game. It’s not fancy though :)

Monday, April 20, 2009

I can be your Hero baby!

Oh yes, now it’s your chance to tell your acquaintances that your friend is a Hero.
(Drum role followed by “tish”) Yes it’s me! Ta – duh da

Oh good you are still reading. which proves you have not fainted or still shaking your head equivalent to that of wet dog trying to get dry. So I repeat, (like in military movies after missile shot, 'I repeat target still not destroyed') I did actually act in the leading role of an album.

Even I couldn't believe it when “Whatever productions” decided to cast me in the main role (May god save it!).After small budget production, retakes, lack of numerous stuff and long hours of editing. The video is finally out for everyone to see and it’s in you tube! "Views" increasing every minute ( yaar pakkarangaradhu vera vishayam).

I can see you are all excited and jumping to see it, but wait!
Please read the disclaimers before seeing it.

Disclaimer 1: This creative stuff belongs to new age, no copyright violation. Please feel free to share it with friends. ( Like you would ever wish :P )

Disclaimer 2: Like other Vijaykanth movies, seeing the video is your own decision like suicide, no insurance or monetary benefits would be provided by the company if you break your computer or head or both. ( Appadi I am safe!)

Disclaimer 3: reactions such as Good, very good, talented and anything synonym with this are accepted. Any edible / rotten items can be redirected to your trash bin.

There you go, god bless your soul…

P.s: Thanks to my friends who kept cool to my nagging requests of retakes, Hari/Kam for their camera work. Special thanks to my co star miss smiley (duh, anonymous for obvious reasons). She is getting engaged today – My heartfelt wishes for both of you(Oh gift problem solved LOL) Now reading about Tsunami alert mail (hoax?!) for Singapore in July 22- Gosh one off my bucket list!

Friday, April 17, 2009

Sign

Sometimes in life we are in a position where we are not sure about what’s going to come next. Life would seem monotonous and we are fighting the same war everyday, no change.

At these times I believe all we can do is, have faith that everything is going to be fine. That’s the best we can do, as humans we can control our life only so much.

May be we just need to retire, surrender completely to higher energies to take us forward, for we have done our best.

I am in that state right now, I am constantly trying to vary between living by heart and living by logic. Each seems right / wrong at times. So Books comes to my rescue. Books talk to me and bring me all the "signs" and "Instruction" I need to hear.

Somewhere I read, all that we want is already given to us, it’s just that we need time to get ready to accept it. So the transformation to become millionaire inside is more important than the reality. The comfortness to see one as millionaire would bring that exact change in his/her life. So, I would like to believe, I am yet to be ready for the changes I am hoping for.

Just when I am about lose my hope, "The Zahir" of Paulo spoke to me. The following lines sent a chill down my spine. I should never forget these lines.

“Universe spoke its own language of "signs" and that, in order to understand this language, we had only to look with an open mind at what was going on around us

All you have to do is pay attention; lessons always arrive when you are ready, and if you can read the signs, you will learn everything you need to know in order to take the next step
.”


I am suppose to end my post here. My shuffle mode ipod is playing "One step at a time" by Jorden spark and I went on to write some more. I did not intend to write it as prayer, but words just fell out of me and I take it as “sign” to be presented to everyone.

Oh Universe,
Please make me realise,
Realise how small and insignificant my problems are,
Realise how magnificent and beautiful life is,
Realise my blessings and live life one day at a time.

Please give me enough strength,
Strength to carry on when it seems impossible,
Strength to live by the Heart and nourish my dream,
Strength to have integrity and be my true self all the time.

Please always use me,
Use me to help needy,
Use me to bring good changes to people around,
Use me to always support, elevate and heal everyone.

Oh Universe,
I surrender my ego,
Even though I have desire to be free
I don't know what is good for me

Nourish me like mother
Instruct me like father
Guide me like teacher
Bless me like God.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

I carry you

Dear X,

Now that you aren't there anymore for me ,
And I don't want to reveal your name
I think its very appropriate to call you X

I am wondering why people call their "once loved ones" as X
Considering the fact "X" is in same pincode as "kiss"
May be they have crossed them out from their life
Or may be their eyes look like "X" mark which represents sick/died character's eye from cartoons
Or may be they still wanted to kiss the X
I don't plan to die or kiss you again
You just don't X-ists
I think its very appropriate to call you X

Then why would I use "Dear"?
If you 'happen' to read this (chance of which is same as Osama converting to Christianity)
You would know, not much has changed since you decided to move on

If you think I would worry
I am sorry you may be disappointed
If you think I am happy without you
I am sorry again, you are wrong

I don't want to name this feeling
Its neither happy nor sad
I am just myself, feeling which has no Tag

Do you know you gave me more than I did ?
Always
You gave me more than I did
I let you go
You gave me the freedom
I let you move on
You got me over it
I let you be with one you loved
You made me available for love

You may wonder, what I am trying to say
I am fine
Nothing is broken
Nothing is erased
Nothing is forgotten
Nothing is remembered as well
Just like door which is open to let the wind in , is shut by the same wind
You opened me and shut me again
But the time you were there
Is all worth it

Did I ask you why, when you came into my life?
How could I blame you for leaving then?

Time is ticking
I may forget
Until someone ask me
about my "failed" relationship
Is it a exam to fail?
Do I need to graduate?
Is getting matured and moving on, considered as graduation?
Or is it happy ending that is graduation?
I have moved on
And I am sure I would have an happy ending.
So I can safely say its not even close to be called "failed"

I carry you just like marks on my body
Some are from birth
Some are from childhood playing
Some are from accidents
Some are from chicken pox
And
Some are self made like tattoo
I would always have you
You may decide which one you want to be
It doesn't makes any difference to me

But if you insist
I may call you tattoo
Made by happy occasions
With all good intensions
Would be there till I reach the stars
For I carry them as they are

p.s:
Dear X
If you happen to read
I know you are dumbo
I need to tell you "Straight"
I want you to know
I am happy for all those days
I am fine if you care to stay as friend
I can take care of myself
I have to leave you and so do you
Leaving doesn't mean I hate you
I never hated you and never will
Look at us now
we are in the right place , doing right thing
So here is the secret of all secrets
Like the birth of streams
Root of all roots
I carry a part of you with me
I dont need a thing,
This is it,
Be Happy :P

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Baby I can see your Halo

I am going crazy
Completely
Addicted
Mesmerized
Hypnotised
I have gone mad (adhan theriyumennu solla kudaadhu)
I have to confess it
I know I can’t say it directly to you
So I am writing this (oru post podanumnu edhayaavadhu ezhudha vendiyaadhu)
To you and to the whole world

I am so into it
Yes I am in love
And it feels so good to admit it

All smiley
Bubbly
Chirpy
Windy
And so Happy
It’s like adrenaline waterfall inside
(namalukku scientific vaarthai pottu pammathu kaata mudiyum la)

I never know it is possible
That I could taste honey in ears
Until I heard you
(ahaa peter jaasthiya erukko , kammi panniduvom)

To be honest I did not like you at first
Until last week
when I happen to hear you
Now I can’t take it out of my head
When I speak about you I go all red

So here it goes...
I am in love with your singing Beyounce (ahaaa.. mokkai potachu)
I am so in love with your song "Halo "

Ok guys I love this song so much
Lyrics speaks for itself
I am totally into the energy of this song
I feel I am completely in love
Its on the repeat mode on my Ipod these days
Its so good that I have to Blog about it (vera matter onnum ellai adhan unmai)

Now its for you to join the club :)

For video click here (open it in new window :) )

Lyrics below:

Remember those walls I built
Well, baby they're tumbling down
And they didn't even put up a fight
They didn't even make up a sound

I found a way to let you in
But I never really had a doubt
Standing in the light of your halo
I got my angel now

It's like I've been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin'
It's the risk that I'm takin'
I ain't never gonna shut you out

Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace

You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away

I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo (2)

Hit me like a ray of sun
Burning through my darkest night
You're the only one that I want
Think I'm addicted to your light

I swore I'd never fall again
But this don't even feel like falling
Gravity can't forget
To pull me back to the ground again

Feels like I've been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin'
The risk that I'm takin'
I'm never gonna shut you out

Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace ..

You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face ..

I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo (4)
Halo, halo

Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace ..

You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face ..

I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo(4)

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Someone is watching over me

I don’t feel good.
That’s the very first feeling this morning.

Everything is fine.
Nothing to complain.
No reasons.
I woke up with ten toes and ten fingers
No fever, No cough or heart attack.
I am good. But I don’t feel good.

With giant effort I stand up.
I need some more sleep. ( tsk tsk tsk , actually I need to sleep on time)

I go over the window and see the workers in the nearby construction.
It takes a while to get real.
I realise that I am living on my own - different window, different apartment, different people, and different country! (Oh Pete’s sake, did I take this long to realise that?)
Why am I here? Nothing here even remotely qualifies as my home.
Yet I am living here.

I missed so many things in the last one and half years.
Birthdays, festivals, home food , friends, cousins, temples, beach, Landmark, Sathyam theatre, Spencer plaza, umpteen cable channels, Aquarium, birds, lovely kids in the apartment and.. (Chances of me ending this list is close to zero) I miss all of them, I still do.

I walk to the toilet and wash my face,
Cool water embraced my skin.
It feels so good against my swollen eyes.
I keep washing my face,
Like an automated robot I brush.
More splashing on the face.
Some more , some more..

Am I growing up?
Or is it "growing numb at heart"

Few pushups
Few sit-ups (duh. I do exercise .Any physical action more than required is qualified as one)

Am I independent?
or is it feeling of "lost your own self inside"

Another shave
Another shower
Another check in the mirror (do I still look young and good?)

Am I getting matured?
Or is it living likes "nothing excites me"

I miss the bus, (damm it, every time)
I walk to the train station. (yes some more exercise)

Everytime I walk is think time
No matter what the Ipod blares in my ears
No matter what the traffic is
No matter whether it rains or shines,
Walk time is think time.

Too many questions pops up
What happen to me today?
What I have become?
What happen to dreams I dreamt?
What about the unconditional love?
What happen to hopes of finding fulfilling job?
Where I am going? (Isn’t it suppose to be 6 letter word called "office")

No logical answer interests me.
No one to talk to.

I say a small prayer
I look up to the skies,
May be someone is watching me over.
I fasten my pace,
It’s getting late.

Am I psychotic?
(Given the fact that I write such crazy stuff, may be I am)

I find a comfortable seat in the train

I am on my own world
Ipod blaring
Cooler shielding my swollen eyes
"Paulo Coelho” in hands
May be I am living in parallel Universe. ( may be moron's galaxy)

I felt a touch,
It’s that of an angel.
I saw a smile,
It’s the smile of innocence

The angel in the white frock.
It made sounds pointing tiny finger at me.
I removed the headphone.
Eyes wide open it looked at me with amazement ( may be I resemble something from storybook)
I removed the cooler.
It picked my page marker, turned my book.
It started conversing in heavenly language.
I swear I couldn’t understand anything.
But my soul felt it; it’s the language of souls.
Produced and deciphered only by the hearts.
The train stopped, Angel has to go,
I waved my hand to say bye
(ok I did a crazy facial expression and a funny sound)

It’s the most comforting conversation I had.
I picked up the book, the random page read

"The noblest thing a human being can experience is acceptance of the mystery"