Thursday, August 27, 2009

Collioders neutrons and insanity

I have read somewhere that the best stories are the ones said from heart. I always try to adhere to this saying when it comes to writing posts. However I try hard not to write about regrets, guilt, or resentment be it my own or others. But today I just feel like pouring my heart out.

My buddy circle at work used to be amazing. In the last one and half years, we watched movies, cooked, played shuttle/cards, and have taken numerous trips together. There were ups and down, stupid and serious fights but we always retire to the oneness vibe. But these days the ego clashes going on between some is shaking the entire group.

I am faced with outmost difficulty of maintaining neutrality. Worst case, I am getting involved in this energy draining exercise and it backfires. I find it hard to convince them, even to do the right thing. It seems people are just fine the way they are and don't want anyone to shake their "perfect" universe.

I always go out of my way to pacify, to be good or be apologetic to others (remember Monica of FRIENDS who try hard to get Mrs. Green’s apology?) I get hurt in the process mostly. Today I felt ,I couldn’t take anymore of this shit. So I have resolved myself to maintain silence and positivity. I suggest people to let go of anything that bothers the peace of mind and it’s time for me to do the same.

Do you face such situation where you shuttle between getting involved or staying away? While staying away sounds matured and diplomatic is it really the right thing to do? How far do you think one should go to rescue the friend who is behaving insanely?

35 comments:

R-ambam said...

antha area laye irukka koodathu...
Namma naataamai panra rendu paerum naalaikku kai korthukkuvaanga... aana namma kitta antha rendu paerumey marupadiyum friends aaga vaipey illa... :(
sad but true...anubavam paesuthu :)

Srivats said...

//antha area laye irukka koodathu...//

oh apdiya!

//Namma naataamai panra rendu paerum naalaikku kai korthukkuvaanga... aana namma kitta antha rendu paerumey marupadiyum friends aaga vaipey illa... :( //

Neenga solradhu romba saridhaan kadasila namma villain maari ayiduvom, eppo dhaan theriyudhu :(

//sad but true...anubavam paesuthu :)//

Ungalukkumma ada kadvuley!

athivas said...

//It seems people are just fine the way they are and don't want anyone to shake their "perfect" universe.//

When it comes to ego, it alone wins! I have tried talking either sides, but it has never, never worked! As long as their "perfect" universe is not disturbed, however long it may take, ppl will come back to their original loving self....So, all I have learnt to do is to just ignore as if nothing has happened. I feel our talking will only add fuel to the fire. I have also seen that when the two involved come face to face with each other and alone, they'll laugh out!!

Prats said...

Well I would say stay silent....

Draining urself on a complexities of a group is okay to an extent but it would hurt you in the long run...

If you really feel that someone is correct and other is not... make sure that you take sides as well....

You know a politically correct person doesn't makes enemies but he isn't left with too many friends either.

Srivats said...

@ athivas said...

//When it comes to ego, it alone wins! //
Well said! yes!

//So, all I have learnt to do is to just ignore as if nothing has happened. I feel our talking will only add fuel to the fire.//

Very nice suggestion, yes acting as if nothing happened, very hard for me to put to practise though, but yes I would try :) Thanks!

//I have also seen that when the two involved come face to face with each other and alone, they'll laugh out!!//

I dont know they both would laugh out, but i feel like clown sometimes:)

Srivats said...

@ Prats said...

//Well I would say stay silent....
Draining urself on a complexities of a group is okay to an extent but it would hurt you in the long ru... //

Yeah agree :(

//If you really feel that someone is correct and other is not... make sure that you take sides as well....//

This is where doin the right thing and staying put bites the ass :(

//You know a politically correct person doesn't makes enemies but he isn't left with too many friends either//

Thats the statement to think about, so silence it is then :)

Karthik said...

yeah, its difficult and i don't know what to say.. may be its better to stay silent..

...ceedee... said...

only way to avoid becoming a 'naatamai' is to get a headphone and have it plugged on to your ears always!!
happy to find people from 'namma state'.

gils said...

unaken intha velai..apdinu feel panna vaikarathuku munnala ess aidarathu ebtter

G3 said...

//So I have resolved myself to maintain silence and positivity. //

Appadiyae maintain pannikkonga :)))

//While staying away sounds matured and diplomatic is it really the right thing to do?//

Right and wrong differs from everyone's point of view.. so romba yosichu kozhappikaadheenga :)

//How far do you think one should go to rescue the friend who is behaving insanely?//

Only until u dont get fired back :) If it starts hurting you its better to stay away and let them decide their ways :)

G3 said...

//Do you face such situation where you shuttle between getting involved or staying away? //

:)) Once there was a silly fight between two of my friends and I spoke to X Supporting Y. Finally X stopped talking to both of us. There was a common friend who was still speaking with all of us. Whenever either me or Y starts talking about X, the common friend will just say freeya vidunga.. idha pathi pesa pesa tensionum kovamum jaasthi dhaan aagum. We loose out words easily. Lets not talk about it nu.. I actually liked the idea :)

G3 said...

Enakku kaalaila padichadhu dhaan nyaabagam varudhu :)))

"Everybody has an explanation for everything and everybody wants to have the last word" :))))

Thamizhmaangani said...

i truly understand ur feelings. many a time, i have gone thru such situations. the best is to stay away! that's what i normally do!

anyway, cheer up dude!!!:)

அன்புடன் அருணா said...

Be silent...becus they will not listen or accept whatever anyone say at that emotional moment.... Let them face the consequences ...as you've said...it's a draining away energy exercise....so save your energy...

mybittersweetkoreanlife said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
mybittersweetkoreanlife said...

I know this one from experience. It's uncomfortable, emotionally-tiring and energy-consuming... you don't have to hangout with people that make you feel like this. But for what it's worth, I hope you feel better soon.

Ramesh said...

A contrarian viewpont Srivats. If "they" are people I want to be friends with, I can't help but be involved. Offer support, gently help smoothen things, as you seem to have done. Sometimes its drianing and it hurts as you have said. But that's worth doing for a friend. If "they" are not people I want to be friends with, of course I'll run.

Annam said...

vanthuttennnnnnnnnnnnnnnn:)

Annam said...

///maintain silence and positivity.

good approach :)

Annam said...

travelling trip padichitu vaaren:)

Annam said...

//THE END ! Thanks for travelling with me :P ///

thanks for finishing it:P

Eyomer said...

let it go. not your cup of tea. let it go. and forget it. :-)

Annam said...

i need a little lifco dictionary :)

Srivats said...

@ Karthik said...

//may be its better to stay silent..//

:) yes thats what I am doing, thanks for the concern :)

Srivats said...

@ ...ceedee... said...

//only way to avoid becoming a 'naatamai' is to get a headphone and have it plugged on to your ears always!!//

Welcome to my blog.yeah correcta soneenga, Naatamai erukkaradhu periya prachanai dhaan.

//happy to find people from 'namma state'.//

haha tamil nada, chennai ? ellai nondha state aa endha state pathi solreenga ? :)

Srivats said...

@ gils said...

//unaken intha velai..apdinu feel panna vaikarathuku munnala ess aidarathu ebtter//

yeah ellati enna maari ass kku powder poda vendiyadhu dhaan machi

Srivats said...

G3 said...

//Appadiyae maintain pannikkonga :)))//

Enna kamnu erunnu solradhula evlo sandhosama!

//Right and wrong differs from everyone's point of view.. so romba yosichu kozhappikaadheenga :)//

Edhu soneengaley edhu gyaayam!

//Only until u dont get fired back :) If it starts hurting you its better to stay away and let them decide their ways :)//

backla nalla fire ayidchu, micheal madhana kamarajan paati maari

//:)) Once there was a silly fight between two of my friends and I spoke to X Supporting Y. Finally X stopped talking to both of us. There was a common friend who was still speaking with all of us. //

Edhay nelamai dhaan ponga :(

//Whenever either me or Y starts talking about X, the common friend will just say freeya vidunga.. idha pathi pesa pesa tensionum kovamum jaasthi dhaan aagum. We loose out words easily. Lets not talk about it nu.. I actually liked the idea :)//

Enakkum endha approach romba pidichirukku ! :)

Srivats said...

@ g3

//"Everybody has an explanation for everything and everybody wants to have the last word" :))))//

Adengappa , ennma solli erukaangayaa nenachu nenachu pakkaran romba apta erukku!

Srivats said...

@ Thamizhmaangani said...

//i truly understand ur feelings. many a time, i have gone thru such situations. the best is to stay away! that's what i normally do!//

Yes correct dhaan Tamil mango, paatdhum paadam :)

//anyway, cheer up dude!!!:)//

sari vaanga ECP kku poi oru party podalam , nalla "cheer up" pannalam hehe :)

Srivats said...

@ Aruna

Yes mathavanga sollum podhu dhaan puriyudhu thanks much :)

@ Eyomer

yes I am letting it go, all for our goodness! apdeennu, thanks!

Srivats said...

@ mybittersweetkoreanlife said...

//I know this one from experience. It's uncomfortable, emotionally-tiring and energy-consuming...//

Rightly said yes it is!

// you don't have to hangout with people that make you feel like this. But for what it's worth, I hope you feel better soon//

Thanks for the concern Emma, yes I am up! Happy times again! :)

Srivats said...

@ Ramesh said...

//A contrarian viewpont Srivats. //

Sollunga Ramesh

//If "they" are people I want to be friends with, I can't help but be involved. Offer support, gently help smoothen things, as you seem to have done. Sometimes its drianing and it hurts as you have said. But that's worth doing for a friend.//

Yes Ramesh, its because of that I went into this. Also I still wanted the group to be one.

// If "they" are not people I want to be friends with, of course I'll run.//

The problem is the people are not that bad, but at times everyone shows their negative side, whether I wish or not I live with these people and work too. Anyway I am changing my mind set, all for good and betterment only, correcta ? :)

Srivats said...

@ Annam

//vanthuttennnnnnnnnnnnnnnn:)//

Ennanga tharaila ennai vazhukiduchaa?

//thanks for finishing it:P//

Hello andha postla poda vendiya comment, sari vidunga hehe, annam special promotion engey vena vada sapdalaam :)

thethoughtfultrain said...

When people in our friends group are determined to fight, there isn't anything much you can do about it. You can try asking once or twice to reconsider their thoughts. But if that doesn't work, then its best you stay out of the mess ( Whether it is possible or not depends on how ugly the scene already is!) They are itching for a fight - so let them!

Srivats said...

@ thethoughtfultrain said...

//When people in our friends group are determined to fight, there isn't anything much you can do about it.//

Exactly!! You are right!

//They are itching for a fight - so let them!//

No better way to put it i guess :) Thanks for the support!