Today I am fighting one of the worst enemies, boredom. Off late it’s very quiet at work and I am flipping out. I believe busy is good; at least it keeps us away from the devils of mind. Otherwise boredom would crawl in and spread like a virus. Then we would feel low, lethargic and slowy turn into 3 toed sloths. Worst of worst it could kill our spirits like a slow poison.
Then we merely exist. We accept a less than ordinary life as if it’s the penance for being born on this world. We resent, blame the situation and god for all the wrong things in our life. We pretend that we are bothered about it. But we have already retired from fighting a good fight!
Several months back, I have witnessed my spirit rotting because of my job which is not fulfilling. It’s like travelling in a wrong train and realising it after many stations have already passed. I found my passion in media industry and decided to shift, which is easier said than done. Ten years of IT work, good pay, comfortable lifestyle and the commitments makes such shift over close to impossible. But I couldn’t give up just like that, so I took the first step. I joined a mass communication diploma course and finished it in flying colours.
The next easy option was finding a related job. I thought my masters in computers and IT experience would count. But I forgot I am in the world full of competition. I soon learnt it takes more than a diploma to find a place in media industry. I also found that I am living in a country where permanent residents are much appreciated than foreign expats even for intern positions. Yet I couldn’t give up. I wanted to do a degree and/or specialisation in advertisement, but the fat fee tag is hard to deal with. So I decided to return to India, where I can pursue my studies for a comparatively lesser fee. I have informed my decision to manager few weeks back and would be transferred back to Chennai office in December.
I feel a mixed feeling these days and happiness is one of them. For I am stepping out of my comfort zone, I am taking a chance. I would be missing all that I have built here, but it’s ok. It’s the right thing to do, if not now it’s never. And I am ok if others can’t see the way I see it.
To be frank, I am afraid. Sometimes I think I am crazy to run behind my dreams. I got to keep my hopes high from negativities. For all I know if I do a job that I love, the world would come looking for me. This phase is scary, like a silence before the battle. But I am prepared to fight a good fight, I am happy to keep my spirit alive.