Why cut roses still blooms

One of the earliest memories I had of my dad is sleeping next to him on the terrace during summer nights. We slept in the open air with just a mat and mom’s old sari was our bed sheet. My brother and I had our own spots in the nooks of his shoulder which we never traded, mine was always on his right. Mostly he wrapped his arms around us and tapped gently on the shoulder. If the story gets interesting he made hand gestures in the air, drawing pictures with vast dark sky as background.  We would watch his dancing hands that moved in rhythm bringing each words to life. Sometimes it appeared as if he was strong enough to gather a handful of twinkling stars and release them back into the sky.

This golden period with my dad ended sooner than I wanted it to be. As I grew up, we grew apart. He hardly took part in family responsibilities. It was always my mom who deliberated from the little things to major decisions in our lives.  She soon became my model, the wonder women who carried the world in her shoulder and still managed to keep her smile. There were days I thought he wasn't good enough for her.

Few months ago, I interacted with a group of deaf people as part of a cause. A translator signed my questions to the group and translated their answers for me. “How do you feel as deaf and dumb in the world which is filled with different sounds” I asked looking at a young deaf guy. Before the translator could finish signing, he interrupted with a loud sound. The translator answered me while he signed “I am not dumb, none of us are, we cannot hear sound so we don’t know how to pronounce a word. And since we can’t hear ourselves we don’t like to make the sound. If needed I can shout to get help during emergency, so I am not dumb. We are mute but not dumb”. 

I was so embarrassed and apologized for my insensitive question. But the handsome young guy smiled and responded something that I would remember forever. He signed “I understand. You did your best with the knowledge and understanding you had. Now that you know, you can understand better, and tell others too about it.”


Perhaps it’s signing hands that reminded me,my dad. I was taken back to our exact moment in the terrace with billions of stars. That’s when I released my dad from my judgments. He did his best with the knowledge and understanding he had. He still does. My mom was wonder women because he let her be. Every time I spoke harshly or denied him like cut roses he only returned blooms of understanding and acceptance.  The last time I visited home, I gave him a long hug and felt him tapping my shoulder exactly the way he did when I was a kid. And with every tap we released the stars back into our sky.

Comments

AJEYA RAO said…
Very Thoughtful article.
AJEYA RAO said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
gils said…
senti post ..well written :)
Madhadevi said…
Very nice sri
/But the handsome young guy smiled and responded “I understand. You did your best with the knowledge and understanding you had"/

I often wonder about the quality of "forgiveness", such challenged & differently abled people have in their hearts!
Imagine, if such words like 'dumb' being used in casual conversations of our day to day life and the other person will fume for sure:)

"forgiveness" in the heart, comes naturally!
when it comes, it lifts your heart beautifully!
--

Sometime back, I was in a volunteer camp for skin disease, people & kids too..
One day, when I was helping in serving washed clothes, accidentally, my hand hit the kid in the wheel chair.
She was holding a piggy bank with money & all the coins flipped out, much to my embarrassment:(

But such a small girl, didnt curse me or yell at me, or even cried!
That smile on her face, as an innocent handsome moon..
She cannot walk, so I had to collect all those coins from nook & corner, put it in the bank & gave it back to her, profusely apologizing..

Lo, she gave me a dollar as tip!
I was aghast! Smiles bloomed on my face after a long time, as I was undergoing tough times of my life then;
I thanked her & said it's ok, but she was insisting:)

I still have that one dollar coin..
& also a ten rupee note, that my dearest friend in life gave me!
When I see them often, I feel super rich with treasure!
Such is the "forgiveness" in the hearts of challenged people!

கெட்டாலும், மேன்மக்கள், மேன்மக்களே - சங்கு
சுட்டாலும் வெண்மை தரும்!
Ramesh said…
Yes Sri; being a father is often more difficult than being a mother. Give him many a tap- every dad deserves it.
@Ajeya Rao

Thanks for coming and for your words :)

@Devi

haha so happy u read and commented on it.

@Gills
Dei kanna.... Thanks da. Keep in touchuu

@Ravishankar

Thats a very nice relate-able exp. Some people by their sheer gestures makes us feel humbled to be in their presence. Apparam epdi erukeenga ? so long no c.. Come to chat sometimes.

@Ramesh
Oh my sunshine. Yes every dad does.

Lavanya Prasad said…
Hey Srivats,
A wonderful post.I start my everyday with a " Want to be a better person" from what I was yesterday and what you have mentioned is something i am trying to practice but have still a very long way to go.And what experiences we get from our lives!
And what a thing to say" I understand". You did make a ripple here by sharing this.
Thanks. Stay wonderful.

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