Friday, July 24, 2009

Silk saree, Chicken pox and 40$

"She has gone to the temple. Today is Aadi Velli you know. There is special puja happening in temple and she has gone to pray.I can ask her to call you once she is back" My dad said. "Its ok daddy I would call again in the evening "and I kept the phone down. I stared at my computer screen uninterestingly. I couldn’t wait. It’s an unexplainable urgency, a need to convey myself. I started typing this letter. Which I would post not just to her but to the whole world.

Dear Mom,

I don’t even remember how old I was then, when I started going out with you to the market and temples.My hands were so tiny and you always ask me to hold your small finger. I never left you and I used to play with your saree edge all the time. I spoiled even the silk ones, but you never scolded me. I love the way you hold my chin and comb my hair neatly. One day I got lost in the big shivan temple. It was dark inside the temple and I kept crying, running in circles around the huge pillars. I got scared that someone would take me and make me beg in streets like the boy- in the story you told me. No words in any language could describe how glad I was, when I saw you again. I ran to your arms and you gave me a tight hug. You brushed my hair with your fingers and assured me “its ok everything is alright". It took me long time to calm down and I slept on your shoulder. I am sorry I spoiled your silk saree. I need you, don't ever leave me again Amma.

During my school days I copied in exam and got caught. When you were informed, you didn’t say a word. I was so afraid that you would never talk to me. After a long silence you said “Even if you fail its ok, but never copy" and I obeyed. We lived in single room apartment then and I used to wake up early to study . I switch on the light and wake you too. As an adult, now I understand how much you have sacrificed Amma.

When I started working, I fell ill by chicken pox. I couldn’t take the pain and cried. I even scolded you on your ways of treating the disease. I had high fever and lost my consciousness. I was told that you and dad fanned me using neem leaves all night long. I got better in few days and started working again. That evening I saw rashes and marks on your forearms. I was shocked to learn that you did Angapradhakshanim for me. I know how hard that Amman temple's concrete floor was and you rolled on a hot summer day. Till date I can’t imagine, how much pain you have undergone for me. I believe now, beyond the shadow of doubt that you know how to care for me Amma.

As I type this, I received the message that flowers and sweets were delivered to home. It cost me less than 40$. And I am sure you would question about the expenses. Because according to you, anything spent on you is luxury and anything spent on me is necessary.

The phone vibrated, flashing "Home”. Without a delay I picked it up.
"Cheechu amma here"
I sang happy birthday for you, while you kept laughing.
“Why did you spend so much on the flowers and sweets? It’s costly pa"
"Its ok Amma, You are my girl friend na that’s why " I smiled.
"You send me so much from there, I don’t even know how to send you something, even for last birthday I didn’t send you anything pa"
"Adaada, Its ok Amma, when I come there you can give me"
"You keep saying this, but you don’t have holidays na? ok next time you come here,the same day we will celebrate your birthday"
“Sure amma, did you like the sweets? Amma?” I realised you already started talking to our maid.
“Thayamma, did you see my son has sent me flowers, cakes and sweets from Singapore" you were so proud to tell that to our maid. And I am sure for the next few days you would tell this to everyone you meet.
“Amma I shall talk to you again in the evening, got some work", I kept the phone down
My eyes are blurred and I am searching for tissue paper. I love you Amma. And I know you love me the most. More than you love dad and brother. I feel guilty, for not being with you right now. I can only try everyday of my life to give you back what you have given me all these years Amma.I can only try.

38 comments:

Preeti Shenoy said...

:(
:(
:(

gils said...

vadai poachay

gils said...

aama enna ithu thideernu sentiments of singapore?? feelin homesicka?

Preeti Shenoy said...

After getting over the initial lump in my throat after reading your post I am thinking how lucky you are--at least you can go back to India and hug them.
I cannot ever have that back as my dad is gone forever , eve though inside me he lives.
:(
Cheers
preeti

G3 said...

//I can only try everyday of my life to give you back what you have given me all these years Amma.I can only try.//

Keep trying.. muyarchi thiruvinaiyaakkum :))

Ammavoda kaalla saashtaangama vizhundhu kumbutukkaren.. aasirvadham vaangi kudunga :)))

G3 said...

//gils said...

vadai poachay//

Ada amma porandhanaalukkaaga avar vada paayasathoda virunthae veipparu ELLARUKKUM :)))) No the worries :)

Thamizhmaangani said...

//Its ok Amma, You are my girl friend na that’s why " I smiled.//

really sweeeeet!:)

cool buddy! am sure u can go back to her once u are done here!

mybittersweetkoreanlife said...

Your Amma is beautiful.. I hope you see each other soon.

Srivats said...

@ Preeti,

//After getting over the initial lump in my throat after reading your post I am thinking how lucky you are--at least you can go back to India and hug them.
I cannot ever have that back as my dad is gone forever , eve though inside me he lives//

So sorry that u brought u down. I am bit homesick today :) I agree , I cant even imagine missing them for an year - missing ur dad for lifetime is very hard. I am so sorry preeti. I can only remember the lines from "Curious case of benjamin button" people we love leave us sometimes, its only way we can feel how special they were in our life. Your dad is very proud of you. Through your writings and lovely thoughts you spread the happines and love you have for him to the entire world.
:)

Srivats said...

@ Gils

//aama enna ithu thideernu sentiments of singapore?? feelin homesicka?

//

Adhey dhaan ;)

Srivats said...

@G3

//Keep trying.. muyarchi thiruvinaiyaakkum :))

Ammavoda kaalla saashtaangama vizhundhu kumbutukkaren.. aasirvadham vaangi kudunga :)))
//

kandippa ungalukku ammovda aasirvaadham eppavum undu :)
Thnks ! :P

Srivats said...

@ g3

//Ada amma porandhanaalukkaaga avar vada paayasathoda virunthae veipparu ELLARUKKUM :)))) No the worries :)
//

ahaa.. maati vitutaangayya..

Srivats said...

@Thamiz

//really sweeeeet!:)

cool buddy! am sure u can go back to her once u are done here!
//

Yes thats the hope :P thanks ma

Srivats said...

@Mybittersweetkoreanlife

//Your Amma is beautiful.. I hope you see each other soon//

Yes she is ! :) Thanks for the kind words! :)

Red Phoenix said...

Aiya!!... Ammavoda chella pullai.... hehehehehe.... enzoi maddy

kannabiran, RAVI SHANKAR (KRS) said...

//I can ask her to call you once she is back" My dad said//

Ada..Cell Phone kondu poga maataangala?
Ippo ellam koil-la cell phone vachi kittu saami kittaye pesaraanga! neenga mommy kitta thaane pesa poreenga? :))

// I am sorry I spoiled your silk saree.//

WHAT DID YOU DO?
PL EXPLAIN FOR THE BENEFIT OF READERS :))))

//During my school days I copied in exam and got caught//

Oh appave intha pazhakkam irunthirukku pola :)
viLaiyum payir
muLaiyile theriyum :))

//Because according to you, anything spent on you is luxury and anything spent on me is necessary//

VERY VERY TRUE! :)

kannabiran, RAVI SHANKAR (KRS) said...

Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday, Sri Mom! :))
Happy Birthday to you!

தங்களுக்கு இனிப்பான பிறந்தநாள் வாழ்த்துக்கள்! :)

eyomer said...

happy birthday amma. many happy returns of the day. :-)

sri, mother wishes only for her kids happiness. true.

ur post made me senti.

i am shameless to say I dont know my mom's bday. same with dad's bday. issue is that they were not recorded properly. some dates are in records, but neither of them are sure about that. :-(

u screamed and cried in the dark corridors of the temple. god bless u. somethings r horrible even to imagine.

CVR said...

Come back home dear!!
It aint worth it!

I can vouch for it :)

athivas said...

Touching write up about your mom.Many happy returns of her day.....

Srivats said...

@ Red Phoenix

//Aiya!!... Ammavoda chella pullai.... hehehehehe.... enzoi maddy//

Evlo valandhulam ammavukku pullai dhaaney ? :)

Srivats said...

@ KRS
//Ada..Cell Phone kondu poga maataangala?
Ippo ellam koil-la cell phone vachi kittu saami kittaye pesaraanga! neenga mommy kitta thaane pesa poreenga? :))
//
ahaha erukku eduthuttu koyilukku poga maatanga.. :)Enna erundhalum archagar wife ellaya ? andhanala direct linela pesipaanga :)

//WHAT DID YOU DO?
PL EXPLAIN FOR THE BENEFIT OF READERS :))))
//
ahaa.. epdi ellam .. I used to play with the ends and spoil the corner stitch, apparam thread ellam pirinju saree easya kizhinchidum ellay ?

//Oh appave intha pazhakkam irunthirukku pola :)
viLaiyum payir
muLaiyile theriyum :))
//

Unakku mattum dhaan edhallam correcta kannula padudhu hehe..

//தங்களுக்கு இனிப்பான பிறந்தநாள் வாழ்த்துக்கள்! :)
//

Amma kittey sonnen romba sandhosa pataanga :)
Thanks a load for the wishes

Srivats said...

@ Eyomer

//i am shameless to say I dont know my mom's bday. same with dad's bday. issue is that they were not recorded properly. some dates are in records, but neither of them are sure about that. :-(
//

Everyday is good day to celebrate thier love, May be you can treat them on thier wedding day with two gifts each :)

Good to know you could relate to it.

Srivats said...

@ Savitha

//Touching write up about your mom.Many happy returns of her day.....
//

Thanks :) I am glad it touched you.

Srivats said...

@ CVR

/Come back home dear!!
It aint worth it!

I can vouch for it :)

//

I agree but there is this tipping point to reach, I think I am nearing already. Lets see :) Thanks for your comment

R-ambam said...

Sweet of u to written in praise of ur mom :)

Inga apdi thaan irukkum , India vukku poana udane , enga Dubai la road ellaam A/C nnu .. color color aa vuda veenga !

Srivats said...

@ R-ambam

//Inga apdi thaan irukkum , India vukku poana udane , enga Dubai la road ellaam A/C nnu .. color color aa vuda veenga !
//

haha kandippa .. engamma kuda engay vandhuttu angay poi konja naal apdi dhaan vitutu erundhaangalam, enna panradhu comforts vandhapparam compare pannama erukka mudiyalaye :)

Carpe Diem said...

very well written :)

//Inga apdi thaan irukkum , India vukku poana udane , enga Dubai la road ellaam A/C nnu .. color color aa vuda veenga !

hahahaha correct :D

Srivats said...

@ Carpe diem

Thanks for visitng :) .. haha ammam apdi dhaan solluvom.. ana ottaga paal kekka mattom :)

A journey called Life said...

one of the best ever straight from the heart accounts i have read.. came here yest from savitha's blog but was too teary eyed to leave a comment.. (coincidence, i see ur comment on my blog).. what an awesome picture (drishti suthi potudungo)

Srivats said...

@ A journey called life

//one of the best ever straight from the heart accounts i have read.. came here yest from savitha's blog but was too teary eyed to leave a comment.. (coincidence, i see ur comment on my blog).. what an awesome picture (drishti suthi potudungo)

//

Moved by ur comment and thanks for your kind words. Glad that I could bring out the emotion :)

Charissism said...

Sri, this is by far one of the most beautiful letter I have read from a Son to his Mother. Your Mom is soo lucky to have you as his Son.

Belated happy birthday to your Mom! And a salute to a sweet son like you. ;-)

Srivats said...

@ Charissism

My mom would be happy to know about ur wish , so kind of you :)

Swaram said...

This is truly one of the best posts I hv ever read Sri and I don't say things until I mean them .. simply superb!

Every single word carried so much meaning! The conversation that u written down here just the way we talk with our dear ones - superb!

anything spent on you is luxury and anything spent on me is necessary - I fail to understand too!

Sid said...

wow... you reminded me of my mom :(
loved this one.

Srivats said...

@ Sid

Thanks for coming here and your comments. So you miss your mom ?

neeraj said...

I can imagine that! I can imagine that! And I have only tears to shed when I think of this scenario! Now I better move away from this post before I burst out crying .....

Unknown said...

DOnt know how my mouse incidently reached ur page...happy that it did !!!

heart warming - touching....one of the most sincere post i have ever come across...
Its lovely to see u value your mom so much ....cos i am missing mine a lot right now..

Keep sharing !!!!