Last night my colleague said that I have very happening life, so I write interesting posts about them. Yeah right! If you consider thousands of hairs falling weekly and hundreds growing again or occasional reddish discharge from nose (symptom of recovery they say) as same as happening. But interesting posts? hmm... lets see, my weekly posts gets an average of 50 page hits, 20 comments each but half of them are mine :P
Its time to make them interesting, I thought scratching my head, and then I noticed. I am producing a snowfall at the tropics! Yucky! I have tried almost everything from smelly homemade paste to the new all clear (do they mean hair clear?) shampoo which promises clean scalp and sexy girls begging for date. I may not have cool dude looks of sportsmen, but hey I look decent enough to date. Sigh... anyway... Then I started chewing pencil till I could taste the graphite, chalk would have been better choice. Right then, million dollar (not the one you get near temples to wear around your neck) or rather, "million page hits plan" came live
The Plan is to write sensational topics. Imagine me sitting in a dark room (No I did not forgot to pay the bill)in a rented oversized black suit (yeah I am average five point some sized and wouldn’t dare a custom made ) and a hat (may be a fashion freak? but I don't mind, it covers my snowy hair) surrounded by smoke(It has to be artificial, last time I tried smoking it was like bollywood film climax where hero coughs to death due to cancer on someone's lap).So I sit there, rating topics I can write like the movie countdown with ultra professional - dead voice.
Even those who think like Einstien or sweat a pool when asked to write their name can write volumes on this topic. So, it should be easy for a Blogger like me. However its risky business like selling French fries topped with double cheese, either people are crazy about it or abandon it, because it’s unhealthy. Even so it tops my list for firing up my posts: Write sexy double meaning stuff or gossips.
Most of us may compromise on the main dish but not on side dish we eat. The second topic is such. Almost everyone are sucker for controversial issues because its mouth watering. I can write about controversies in politics, cinema, blogging or anything under the moon (oh give it a rest, it needn’t be sun always) that can stir an argument right away.
We all have been taught that wisdom is best of all riches. Whether we have it or not, we pretend we do and also respect those who have it. That’s the reason for I-live-in-my-own world scientists and professors get their respect and they mostly have good looking girls (either as wife! or daughter which sometimes becomes the primary reason for popularity) .So the third is writing Intellectual topics. Scientific discoveries, medical marvels like the one where parents can pick their child's sex or cloning - which invariably challenges human values. Although this sounds hard for my samosa sized brain, but hey Google is free.
Did you see the advertisements during last night TV program? Unless you are living in a submarine, you must have. So which one can you remember? The best ones, with perfect music, visuals and message, ok what comes next? The stupidest ones, which has got absolutely no sense or message. That makes you bang your head on the wall or pluck your hair until you go bald. These were the ones your colleagues, friends and kids use to irritate you. Yet they are noticeable, you cannot run away from them, you may even get hypnotised like Kaa does to Mowgli of jungle book. That’s easy! Write something nonsense yet make it noticeable and that’s what I just did :)