Dump your Gramophone

Remember the time someone said something to you and you couldn't get it out of your head. Probably you will end up all night thinking about why he/she said that in the first place. Like a old gramophone record it goes on and on, and every time you would try to come up with better answers or insults you could have possibly given to the other party. Yeah thats exactly I am talking about!

Understanding :
I remember this story from a teacher who taught me meditation. A old man accompanied by two children was sitting in the railway station. The kids were making noises, jumping around, and fighting with each other. A disturbed commuter asked the old man to keep the kids silent. To which he replied, I dont know how to control them , they lost their mother this morning.  What seemed like a pure angry and irritation turned into sympathy and love for the kids.

Thats the power of understanding. As much as we want to put ourselves first and declare what a prick the other person is, there must be very good reason why he/she is so. The more we understand the more we can find easier to forgive. No one's perfect , just like us.

Forgiving ourself
You cannot make everyone happy :) Stop being hard on yourself.
More often we feel guilty about the whole thing. "why did i let him talk to me like that" , " why did i do that which invited such remarks" - you get the drift.  Say  to yourself "I forgive myself when i make mistakes" and move on.


Rituals 
When things are bad, communicating with the other person will only worsen it. But we can follow some rituals to reduce the pain. As crazy as it seems, it works!

1. Pour down everything you have to say in a paper, Yes it HAS TO BE WRITTEN in paper.it symbolizes getting it out of your system.  Finish the writing by saying  " I forgive you (the person's name)" . Then either burn it, or tie it to the balloon and send it away.
2. Take a hand full of salt , think about your bad memory, and drain it in sink.
3. If you are lucky to have a beach in your town, stand in the water and wash of your hands, u dont even need salt.

Forgive for yourself.

The end result is, we want to move on and forgiving the other person will do it. Its not for them but for our own health and peace of mind. Carrying the bad memory is like carrying a baggage and trying to walk, sooner or later you get tired. Before sleeping bring their face and say" I forgive you" . Do it as many nights as you need.

I deduce this from the books i read and from my meditation gurus, please feel free to comment what you might do in the similar situation. It would help someone who is in need.

Peace!



ps: Pardon my writing skills, I would get better as time goes by :)