Last night, I remembered the time I did the reverse bungee in Singapore. I was sitting in this open capsule, all strapped up to be shot to 700 meters up in the air. I looked at the crowed gathered around and many of them cheered me while the count down began. I asked myself why they would cheer me. It’s not like I am helping humanity or giving them a free beer. Then I realized for many it’s something they wish, but never do. They are applauding me for facing the fear, the one they too poses. They can empathise the fight within and cheering me for victory over it.
At the last minute, I heard my heart beating faster and saw a blurred image (partly owing to the fancy smoke beneath the capsule). Then I told myself “I let go”, for there is nothing I can control about it. Within seconds I was in the air, fear reached its maximum threshold and adrenaline rush took over. While the excitement can be explained in many ways, I believe it was because of the internal shift. I crossed the boundary of fear into freedom. And it’s no different than the one I felt after sending my resignation mail.
I woke up today home alone (my family has gone out for a relative wedding) .While I was fumbling to keep the day’s milk cartons into fridge, I accidently tossed a vessel that had yesterday’s milk. My plan was to feed Julie with that, and for a second I stood there starring at the pool of spilled liquid.
An idea sparked and I called for Julie. He stood at the door while I pleaded him to come inside the living room. He advanced few steps, went back, moaned but never came inside (I guess he must have learnt his lessons not to enter the house). It took me for a while (actually a biscuit) to lead him to the scene and then he happily licked his drink. If my parents were home, I would be wiping the floor with a long face (not because of scolding but because I wont be offered coffee for the day).
In a way we are no different than Julie. We were imposed of certain limits while we were young and we believe it all through our lives. Words like “You can never do that, you are too old, too young, you are girl/boy or you lack the talent, skill, money” and negative thoughts of our own stick to us like a cluttered chain around our legs. Let’s break the chain, cross the border and who knows our favorite thing might be lying on the floor, just for us.