Nightmares of a beautiful mind


This morning found me in lost and low mood. I had a disturbing nightmare just before I woke up. The experience was powerful and as real as it can be. The only way to get it out of my mind is to write about it, For the stories of losing something/someone are told thousand times to dissipate the intensity and to come to terms with it.

I can see my mom, and my cousin in a familiar neighborhood of India. I don't see my dad or brother but they seem to be somewhere nearby .The house resembles like my grandma’s place. There is some kind of disaster, like flood or something. There is no power, its middle of the day yet its dark and sky is cloudy. Someone is running in the road shouting about the danger of storm or some kind of poison from water. The tar road is broken in many places, and I see swift muddy water flowing through the craters.

I wonder if I can prepare for the worst time, by storing snacks. I run to the store around the corner of the street but its not there. I run further and see a familiar clinic with a big aquarium tank in the entrance. Time is running out, I should do many survival preparations.

I run back to the entrance of my home. I ask my cousin to go to grocery store near the main road to get some biscuits. He is not wearing slippers so I give him mine, and 40 rupees. With crying eyes I tell him to hurry and come back safely. He looks perplexed; I can see the fear in his eyes. My brother is standing by my side and seems to have no clue about the severity of the happening. Then I get some kind of premonition, I am very thin and curled up in a dark room. My family members seem to have passed away or in deep sleep around me. I have lost my vision and crying hard. Then I am back to the same scene where I am standing in the road in front of my cousin telling him to come back safe. And I woke up.

The worst part of the dream is it did not conclude! I don't know what happened. For several minutes I tried to find some logical ending. I mean I know it was just a dream, but the experience wanted a conclusion. I felt guilty of not taking care of my loved ones properly, for sending my cousin to the store when I should have gone. I should have asked everyone to stay inside the house. Perhaps I should have brought candles too.

I pondered on so many “I should have’s” for a while. Then sitting on my bed I imagined a different ending, like we have a boat and get inside with loads of food, the flood rises up so is the boat, I anchor it to safely, everyone is living safely.

Then I tried understanding why I had such a crappy dream. I just finished reading “Life of Pi” it’s about survival of 16 year old in a castaway. Now I am reading “Many lives, many masters” where a patient undergoing hypnosis reveals her past lives, with perfect details like time, name and place. I also took a long stare at the 2012 poster when I went to Cineplex last evening. I was quite satisfied on these reasons. How intricate are the works of a mind!

I opened my eyes and thanked god for keeping me alive and everyone around me. Thanked him that such thing did not happen; thanked him for numerous things in my life. (I also did a small meditation healing self and earth). I always think I have control over what happens in my life, but this dream made me realize how petite my life is in front of the powerful never ending universe.

Have you ever had such a terrible dream? What did you do to make yourself comfortable then?

Comments

Swaram said…
FIRST!
athivas said…
second is the new first:P Swaram, time to repay :P.

Sri, will read the post and come back:)
Swaram said…
OMG! So, its not only me with whom this happens :P Ahhh! Uff!

Such dreams are scary aren't they!

I have hd some such dreams too where I see one of my loved ones caught in some problem! Its such a relief when I wake up and see that it ws only a dream and everybody is safe and sound in reality!

And u r rt! We just cant thank God enough for all that he has given us and for the comfortable, happy life we are leading.
Swaram said…
Savi, 2nd or 3rd :P
sent u my comments on email
Srivats said…
@ Swaram, AJCL and Savitha

Oru mudivukku vaanga yaar firstnnu :)

@ Swaram
Yes its a relife to be woken up!

@ AJCL
Thanks :) would check in the evening.
Swaram said…
Y discussion here :P Me first ;)

Okie okie .. me, Appu n Savu - nw pass on the goodies pls!

Hw r u feeling nw?
Srivats said…
yes much better , a call with love would always do the trick :)
Prats said…
That was indeed a weird dream. Why don't you give some beautiful ending to it...Would lower down anxiety about it
Srivats said…
@ Prats

Believe me no matter how hard I try, a part of me says there is nothing I can do about it :)
Now that you wrote about it, I hope you're feeling better...

I have had dreams like that, and it gave me a feel of how it's like to lose that person I love.

These dreams make us appreciate our loved ones more.

Stay Strong!
You know, I always shrug off nightmares as some brain nerves gone crazy! :D Some people in my family believe that telling other people your bad dream will ensure it does not happen.

Nonetheless, here are prayers and wishes to your family safe and healthy!
R-ambam said…
not a problem if they dont repeat ..
Carpe Diem said…
Don't worry it is just a dream..I had many dreams like this..especially flight or some space ship crashing on neighborhood
Carpe Diem said…
//I wonder if I can prepare for the worst time, by storing snacks.


But Sri..ena analum sapada marakrathu illa :P
Ramesh said…
The nightmare's gone Sri. You've done the two best things - talk to your lady and reach out to your blogger friends. Now all is well and you can write the next European post which we are all waiting for.
G3 said…
Comment session says U r better now :)) Thats good :D

I always have these kinds of dreams :) Latest one I had on wednesday night (The day before I joined my new job :P)

The dream goes this way -

We all shift to a new house near my office at Guindy (I remember the place being mentioned Guindy. But doesnt look like it really). One side of my house there were volcanoes.. Suddenly there is a huge smoke from two/ three volcanoes. But there were no lava coming out. It was only smoke and heat. I ask my father to close all the windows and was switching on AC inside the house (Strange thing is that the house had only room and it is full with almost ard 10 ppl :)) Then the scene shifts to something else. I am starting to my office. If I had to go by my bike then i need to travel a larger distance just to take a U-turn. So I decide to go by train. But only after boarding the train I realise that I have taken the train in opposite direction. Then I get down at next station and go to the opposite platform and catch another train. To my surprise this train also goes in the same direction. When I inquire the ppl in train they tell me that most of the trains go only in this direction as more ppl travel in that direction. Trains to travel in opposite direction will come very rarelynu :( Ozhunga bikelayae poikalaamnu enna naanae nondhukkarappo new msg received alert vara woke up :)) When I checked time, it was 3.15AM :D
G3 said…
Idhu maadiri adikkadi neraya dreams varum enakku.. Artham yosichu yosichu mandai kozhamburadhu mattum dhaan michamnu adha ellam nondradhillae :D
Aaarti said…
Whoa.. now that was one hellova dream... unfortunately or fortunately i never dream.. or even if i do, i dont remember anything in the morning... :)

Sheer bliss acc to me~~! :D
Aaarti said…
G3-- woww, yet another interesting dream... !!
My dreams are always without proper end!Just shrug your shoulders and move on.........
gils said…
??ivlo peria dream!! ethana neramda thoongina? vita nadula inteval vittu popcorn break kooda eduthirupa polarukay !!!
Anonymous said…
Such an intense dream must have been very troubling. Look at the bright side - all is well and it makes you appreciate everything you have even more.
Annam said…
//I wonder if I can prepare for the worst time, by storing snacks. //////////////////

kanavula kooda kitchen etti pakkama iruka mudiyalala:)
Annam said…
nalla iruku unga kanavu:))))))
Srivats said…
@ all

Thanks much for your comments and concerns, My honey has adviced me not to ponder on this too much :) so I am taking off the tags, and probably would take it offline soon.
starry eyed said…
such dreams are very disturbing:(

It might really be memories from a past life...such things are commoner than we know. (I've done past life regressions...my mom does it) and was always hoping to get dreams to get more details after that, but it didn't happen.

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