Sleepy meetings and sleepless ceremonies

TGIF! Today is my little brother’s engagement.Its strange, still remember fighting over a candy bar with him. It’s an arranged marriage and they are having an official ceremony to declare it. Even if its love marriage, The Guy doesn’t go down on one knee in Indian custom, it will still be an official family affair. The celebration is happening in a town called “hosur” (in the girls place, as a custom), few hours drive from our home in Chennai. So my brother had booked two buses (!) for the family, and friends to commute.

Indian marriage is like a crazy circus, where petty things would be blown out of proportion and staged by the relatives. Like the quantity/quality of food served, or not been given enough “respect” / “gifts”. Managing the demanding relatives becomes the priority of the parents, groom and bride to be! I bet mom and dad had sleepless nights since last week, mentally rehearsing and preparing for this occasion.

Then just like Vishal post the worst thing happened. Last night on the road, one bus had a flat tyre! And that batch of people arrived late. Surprisingly my dad kept cool, in fact he was enjoying telling me that, most of them were mom’s relatives ;) These are the times I miss my dad the most.

While all this is happening, I am sitting in office abroad, testing applications, listening to this. Then the worst happened. Manager called for a 2 hour document review meeting. A post-lunch-sit-in-the-dark room-staring-projector-light can make a good test for stay-awake contest. If you are just like me who finds it hard to keep up your eye shutters, then the following tricks might help you.

Buy a canned drink or have a coffee. Take it in slow sips. Have a good game counting the maximum number of sips you can make out of the drink. Da..daah before you know the meeting is over.

Tilt your head to the side, squint your eyes and nod your head looking at the manager for every few mins. In the back of your mind you can plan your vacation, or wonder about prefect dinner.  It would also help you to gain brownie points from manager.

If more members are present, have fun watching them. Misery loves company!

When the manager change the slide, suddenly interrupt and ask to move a slide back. Say you couldn't follow and ask to elaborate on it again. Be careful not to overdo, then points would turn negative.

Bite your tongue or Pinch yourself. If it still doesn’t work, then ask your buddy sitting next to you to do it. Be sure to ask someone, you are in good terms with.

Similarly if you have some back stabbing to do, dial your buddy number hoping its not in silent mode. As soon as the ringtone blares, cut the call and act cool.

Have a chocolate(keep it unwrapped) or chewing gum. Just dont get excited and blow bubble.

Close your eyes, and rub your head as if you are suffering from a head ach. Or put your thumb and forefinger around the nose and pretend you are thinking hard. Now and then open your eyes and do some movement.

Write what ever you feel at the moment in the notepad. Don't worry no one would read. In fact I wrote this in my meeting. As thumb rule write them in your worst possible hand writing.

After surviving the two hour misery, I called to check on my brother. The function was over and he was having lunch with his would-be. With little hint he passed the phone to her. Since its my first time talking to her I became extremely uncomfortable. I couldn't say anything more than “Congratulations”, and then she said “we missed you here anna (brother)”

Here’s to the silly meeting tricks and new found relations where heart finds dew drops of joy!


Karthik said…
here i go.. first..:)

lemme read the post. :)
Karthik said…
great post with useful tips to survive countless seminars we have attend with no particular purpose. me too used to write posts for my blog during such tragic times. ;))

wishes to ur bro! :)
gils said…
annava??? how can u be anna to her/?? nice postda...inga nee solirukara meeting tipslaam HP confidential :D its followed by every one in my org :D
This comment has been removed by the author.
Thamizhmaangani said…
congrats to ur bro and her wld-be. so when is urs? hahaha.
Swaram said…
Cheers to the new found wonderful relations :) Believe me, there ws a feeling of joy when I read the line 'Missed u Anna' within me :) May the relationships always remain so Sri :) God bless u all :) Congrats to the family :)

And thanks for all those super-duper tricks ;)

In the back of your mind you can plan your vacation Just what I hv been dng from sday ;)

Indian marriage is like a crazy circus, where petty things would be blown out of proportion and staged by the relatives.
LOL! Well said ;)
Anu said…
all the best to your bro and his fiancee.....not just marriages, every indian function is a circus....
Aaarti said…
:)) hahaha.. indian functions are always circus like.. chaos, hullabulla and wot not... vetti selavu padiyum!!

most of those things u've written i've done during long pointless meetings.. but best of all is texting ur friend/love under the table ..hehehe ;o)
G3 said…
Wow.. Congratulations for ur little brother :)))

Hehe.. innum chinnapullayavae irukkeengalae ;) Andha meetingae attend pannama thappikkaradhu eppadinnu vazhiya podunga boss :D

Mudinja indha postaiyum etti paarunga :D
R-ambam said…
//If more members are present, have fun watching them. Misery loves company!

I like this one .
deep said…
:o...very useful tips..[:D]
Pri said…
wish your brother a happy married life on my behalf.

and needless to say, those were some great tips u posted sure it would help a lotta bored ppl :D
RamMmm said…
// town called “hosur”

:-) Srivats, Come and see Hosur. Lot of advertising in Bangalore on properties in Hosur. If you have your office in Electronics City, it is easier to commute from Hosur than from Bangalore.

// my brother had booked two buses (!)

aaha and that too for the engagement, appo kalyaanaththukku???

Yep, marriage is a circus. Esp. the relatives who want to comment on something or the other, but generally these are the very few occasions when you have a family gathering.

On your meeting sleepathons, wait for some more time when this will be played back on you. :-) :-)
Anonymous said…
How true the thing about Indian marriages. I eagerly anticipated each of the wedding that happened in our (so far 10 atleast!) but once the wedding crowd is home, it is a big "Bahalam" if you know what I mean!! Yet, again we wait for the next wedding eagerly! :D

Your sleep cheats are pretty cool!! :D Should keep them in mind next time I am stuck in a dark room full of people! :D

And last but not the least, wishing your little brother and his fiance a very very happy life together and hearty congratulations! :-)
Ramesh said…
Hee Ho Ho. Meeting tips are absolutely hilarious. I shall now attempt each one of them :)

Indian marriages are designed for everybodyelse but the bride and the groom. How about a post on practical jokes to play on the puffed up with importance relatives (a la your meeting hints)??
/Buy a canned drink or have a coffee. Take it in slow sips. Have a good game counting the maximum number of sips you can make out of the drink/
What an innovative idea!
alice-in-wonder said…
Congratulations to your bro.

P.S. Great tips in your post :D
Savitha said…
Congrats to your brother,and best wishes to the couple!

LOL on your meeting tips. Anyway,I cannot put them to good use:(
geli-pet said…
wow... nice to know traditions, etc.

i always feel sleepy in class, hahaha, thanks for the list of stuff i could try out :)

oh and here's an award:
Charissism said…
Congratulations to your brother!weeeeee stay happy and inlove too!
Srivats said…

Oh i spoiled a nice guy LOL

@ Gils
Ammam da apdi dhaan kupta. HP confidential aa hehe sema idea edhayum techie papersla include pannidalam :)

@ Tamizh mango
Thanks for the wishes, naan committedngooo

Srivats said…
@ Swaram

Thanks a load for the blessings :) I am sure you would know what I meant, we share the same zest for relationships.

@ Anu
I bet it is! thanks for the wishes

@ Aaarti
Oh yes texing,gosh! I forgot about it :)

@ G3
Adhuvum correct dhaan, pogama erukka vazhi erundha prachanye ellaye :P Kandippa pakkaren
Srivats said…
@ R-ambam

;) same blood

@ Deep
LOL i hope so

@ Pri
Thanks much for the wishes! He would be glad to read so many wishes :P haha hope the tricks doesnot get anyone in trouble!

@ Rammm
My chitti lives in Hosur, I have been there couple of times. Nice place :)

yes exactly thats the point so many comments!! my mom said one of my uncle was passing some stupid comments, he used to be nice! gosh Its they take different forms LOL

I know someday I would be in receiving end of sleepathons, and probably there would be new techniques then ;)

haha yes they are balam some of our relatives have helped in decorating the plates and all. But honestly some of them are just plain pain in the .. u know what I mean. Thanks a lot for the wishes :)

@ Ramesh
//Indian marriages are designed for everybodyelse but the bride and the groom//
So very well said, thats in contraversy to the weddings of western :) AJCL would be apt for the puffed up jokes to the relatives :P I guess

@ Aruna
LOL innovative dhaan, thungama erukka edhavadhu yosikanum ellai

Thanks so much for the wishes :)
hope my manager doesnot read this

@ Savi
Neenga dhaan meeting edupeenga, so neengaly epdi thungaradhu :)
Thanks for the wishes

@ Geli-pet
The traditions are actually good, just the ppl are odd sometimes LOL
Thanks for the award! :) thats a surprise would check it out!

@ Charissism
Thanks buddy! :)
savitha said…
//@ Savi
Neenga dhaan meeting edupeenga, so neengaly epdi thungaradhu :)//

Not that,irukrathey 2 peru thaan, so no OB :(
Srivats said…
@ savi

OB adikka mudilennu feel panreengala LOL
jehan said…
your post reminded me of how our (my sister and me) wedding celebrations would be if my Dad was still alive... it would be a traditional 3-day "Igorot" celebration i suppose:

1st day: arrival of guests
2nd day: wedding ceremony and celebration
3rd day: departure of guests...

for the first and 3rd days they butcher pigs for guests to eat or even bring home...

i've been to weddings like this and i really appreciate how the people painstakingly take care of everything, just to keep the wonderful culture. although arranged marriage is not longer (?) practiced in the philippines...
vishal jindal said…
hi srivats
congrats to n ur family :)
Srivats said…
@ Vishal - Thanks bro ! :)

@ Jehan

I am sure arranged marriage is almost extinct LOL. Even these days we follow 3 days marriage and on last day the bride comes home with groom, and the bride's parents would gift many things including the food to have while returning groom's home.

( may be those days they would travel for marriage between the villages, so something to eat by during way back ) but still they do it as a custom

Popular posts from this blog

A CSI Wedding and 13 ghosts

Raagi seeds from the loft

Calliographic Ode to a Kanakambaram Flower