TGIF! Today is my little brother’s engagement.Its strange, still remember fighting over a candy bar with him. It’s an arranged marriage and they are having an official ceremony to declare it. Even if its love marriage, The Guy doesn’t go down on one knee in Indian custom, it will still be an official family affair. The celebration is happening in a town called “hosur” (in the girls place, as a custom), few hours drive from our home in Chennai. So my brother had booked two buses (!) for the family, and friends to commute.
Indian marriage is like a crazy circus, where petty things would be blown out of proportion and staged by the relatives. Like the quantity/quality of food served, or not been given enough “respect” / “gifts”. Managing the demanding relatives becomes the priority of the parents, groom and bride to be! I bet mom and dad had sleepless nights since last week, mentally rehearsing and preparing for this occasion.
Then just like Vishal post the worst thing happened. Last night on the road, one bus had a flat tyre! And that batch of people arrived late. Surprisingly my dad kept cool, in fact he was enjoying telling me that, most of them were mom’s relatives ;) These are the times I miss my dad the most.
Buy a canned drink or have a coffee. Take it in slow sips. Have a good game counting the maximum number of sips you can make out of the drink. Da..daah before you know the meeting is over.
Tilt your head to the side, squint your eyes and nod your head looking at the manager for every few mins. In the back of your mind you can plan your vacation, or wonder about prefect dinner. It would also help you to gain brownie points from manager.
If more members are present, have fun watching them. Misery loves company!
When the manager change the slide, suddenly interrupt and ask to move a slide back. Say you couldn't follow and ask to elaborate on it again. Be careful not to overdo, then points would turn negative.
Bite your tongue or Pinch yourself. If it still doesn’t work, then ask your buddy sitting next to you to do it. Be sure to ask someone, you are in good terms with.
Similarly if you have some back stabbing to do, dial your buddy number hoping its not in silent mode. As soon as the ringtone blares, cut the call and act cool.
Have a chocolate(keep it unwrapped) or chewing gum. Just dont get excited and blow bubble.
Close your eyes, and rub your head as if you are suffering from a head ach. Or put your thumb and forefinger around the nose and pretend you are thinking hard. Now and then open your eyes and do some movement.
Write what ever you feel at the moment in the notepad. Don't worry no one would read. In fact I wrote this in my meeting. As thumb rule write them in your worst possible hand writing.
After surviving the two hour misery, I called to check on my brother. The function was over and he was having lunch with his would-be. With little hint he passed the phone to her. Since its my first time talking to her I became extremely uncomfortable. I couldn't say anything more than “Congratulations”, and then she said “we missed you here anna (brother)”
Here’s to the silly meeting tricks and new found relations where heart finds dew drops of joy!